The Third Chapter- Keres*

Friday, January 23, 2009

He was a beautiful black and white cat with a gentle nature. He constantly followed me around, which was why I named him “Kage” – the Japanese word for shadow. Kage was a plain old alley cat, but I treasured him more than my favorite book. He was a very affectionate creature. He never bit me once, but he did scratch me, when I accidentally stepped on his tail. I think I still have the scar on my leg to prove it. He had a curious habit of licking his…ehrm…private parts, which Kashikun seemed to find amusing. I had many fond memories of that cat, but all of them were overshadowed by the sorrow I felt.

Yesterday, Kage died. And it was not a quick, painless death, no. It was a slow, painful decease, a grueling ordeal. I could almost feel his pain as he was writhing around in pain those final seconds of his feline life. I was holding his paw the whole time before he had that seizure, and I felt like my heart was going to explode. Yes, I know, it sounds totally cliché, but it’s true.

I was watching American Pie: The Rise of Taj on Star Movies (or was it HBO?) when my cousin, Miguel, came in and told me Kage was unwell. I dropped the remote just as the Cock and Bulls were throwing the last history books out the window and ran outside. I called his name. Thrice. Nothing. I called him to food. Usually that would send him running. This time he didn’t respond. Then I knew something was wrong. I searched the garden. Surely enough I saw him lying on the cement footpath, sprawled out, breathing labored. The Kage I knew never lay like that. He was poised, graceful, refined and royal. This Kage looked gaunt. Tired. Pitiful. I was worried. I noticed that he had an empty stomach so I tried to have him eat something, but he refused. I pulled out some cream cheese from the fridge- both him and Odessa loved it- and offered him some. He still didn’t eat. Then I transferred him to the porch and gave him a bowl of water. Yes! He lapped it up, and I thought, Well, so that must be the problem- he hasn’t been hydrated! Problem solved! Soon he’s going to eat and by tomorrow he’ll be back to the old Kage I know.

Boy, was I wrong! I went back into the house, and when I came out, Miguel had news. Kage had vomited. Shit! I muttered, and some other expletives I don’t remember. I didn’t know what to do! I grabbed my phone and texted my Veterinarian aunt. My mom and my other aunt, who were home, told me to give him a Paracetamol. I wasn’t so sure. Then I texted my other friends and had ate Jovette text the Clan. My text went something like this:

. .guys I need help! may sakit yung pusa ko (my cat is sick). di kumakain si Kage, tapos kanina nagsuka sya (Kage’s not eating, and vomited earlier). .ano gagawin ko (what should I do)? sabi ni tita painumin ko daw ng biogesic (my aunt said to give a biogesic). reply asap pls!

Ate Maine said:
buntis lang yan..ganyan din yung pusa naming eh. (it’s just pregnant. our cat is like that too.)

Then I told her Kage was a he. Her reply:
ay lalake….hehe ewan ko kasi yung pusa namin ganyan tapos buntis. (oh, a male. hehe I don’t know because our cat was like that when she was pregnant.)

No one else replied during those crucial minutes. Not even Kashikun.

Mom and my aunt told me Kage was going to die, that I was shallow for worrying myself over a mere cat, that I should be worrying over my grandfather, who was confined in a hospital. Mom told me that a cat had nine lives and a new cat would come along to replace Kage when he dies. NO WAY. Kage was special to me. He wasn’t a ‘mere’ cat! They were a bit offended, I think, by the fact that while we were praying the Angelus, all I prayed for was that Kage would live.

Fast forward. My mom and aunt had left. I laid Kage down on his bed and started cleaning him up. The food tray and his water bowl were placed nearby, for easy access. I had an old dress wrapped around him so he wouldn’t get cold, and I held his paws and talked to him in my most soothing voice, told him he was going to be fine. I must have looked like a lunatic to my cousins. Kage stood up and drank some of the water. He sat back down then suddenly started making those coughing sounds that I automatically associated with hairballs. Maybe that was the problem- maybe he was choking on a hairball! I thought. All of the sudden he was having a seizure, writhing on the marble tiles of our front porch. I didn’t try to restrain him because it would only make him feel worse. All I thought was, what the f@#$% is happening?! His body contorted in angles I didn’t even know a cat’s spinal cord would allow, and then with one piercing, heart-wrenching scream, my Kage stopped moving.

For a split-second I couldn’t move as well. I looked at him intently, not wanting to think the worst. I looked to see his chest rising and falling softly, but I saw nothing. I felt my world shake. No…Kage was dead. I started to cry. Wail, actually, was a more accurate term. My cousin thought he saw an ear twitch, and I foolishly hoped that, by a miracle, he was alive. He wasn’t. No heartbeat, no pulse, no nothing. I looked at his features again. He had a strange, almost funny look on his face, something that reminded me of those old cartoons, eyes wide open, pupils dilated, tongue hanging out. It would’ve made me laugh; only I was so busy bawling my eyes out to do so.

I don’t remember how long I was in tears, but my grandmother told me I was crying loud enough to wake up our neighbors. At the time I couldn’t care less. What mattered to me was Kage was dead, he died in my arms, and I was stupid enough to let all this happen. So stupid to have not paid enough attention to him. It was only when his time was almost up that I pampered, cared completely for and worried about him- things I should have done long ago but never made the effort to. I let him down, but I was grateful that I had at least some time to show him I cared and make up for all my negligence before Atropos cut his life-thread and Thanatos took him to Hades.

His body was still warm when I returned him to the earth, to be a part of it again forever. With Luis and Miguel’s help I dug a shallow grave in the ground just beneath the old guava tree in our backyard, the one with sprawling branches that shaded the part of the lot that served as my cousins’ playground, the one that bore fruit almost all the time. I wrapped him in a small blanket, gave him one last goodbye, and replaced the soil. I wanted Kage to be part of this earth, because I knew he liked it when it wasn’t too hot, and because I wanted his body to nurture the tree we had the most use for. That way he would always be remembered.

::blackrose::

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*Keres were female death spirits who embodied violent death. They were daughters of Nyx.